3 Reasons to Silence your Inner Critic

There were a few challenging moments yesterday. My 18-month-old stabbed me in the head with a fork and bit his sister on the arm. My 4-year-old peed in her underpants and demanded cookies, ice cream, cake and a taco from the taco truck (I gave in on the taco). Rice and beans are hard to sweep up off the floor and my husband got home late from work.

But mostly, it was a good day. I’ve been paying attention to my inner dialogue (actually, it’s more like a monologue... or a diatribe) and trying to speak more kindly to myself... and damn if it isn't working! Underneath all those layers of negativity I’m finding something surprising… joy. It seems like it’s been buried for so long that it’s a brand new experience. Maybe it is. In the past, my inner critic has only been silenced by external praise or alcohol… never by my own force of will. So, I think the kind of joy I’m experiencing now IS entirely new.

Three benefits:

1. Ability to be more present.

It’s one less thing to pay attention to! If you’re always criticizing yourself, you’re always multi-tasking.

2. More resilience in challenging situations.

Fork to the head? Ow! Take said fork away and more on. No biggie.

3. Other people (especially your kids) pick up on it.

Kids really are so attuned to their parents' emotions. And I found that when my inner critic is silenced, I'm happier and my children's difficult behaviors are fewer and farther between.

It might help to realize that your inner critic is not just some asshole that wants to destroy you. It's trying to protect you, albeit in a sabotaging and ineffectual way. So the silencing thing doesn’t mean just putting a muzzle on it. It means entering into a conversation and trying to find the truth that’s hiding beneath the fear. It's probably unwise to try to completely ignore IC (or Ick as I fondly refer to mine)... as sometimes these criticisms might contain some valuable information. The key is communication in place of blind submission.

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